Liz By Design

Matthew 23:12-14 (Amplified Bible)

12Whoever exalts himself [[a]with haughtiness and empty pride] shall be humbled (brought low), and whoever humbles himself [whoever has a modest opinion of himself and behaves accordingly] shall be [b]raised to honor.

13But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, pretenders (hypocrites)! For you shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces; for you neither enter yourselves, nor do you allow those who are about to go in to do so.

14[c]Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, pretenders (hypocrites)! For you swallow up widows’ houses and for a pretense to cover it up make long prayers; therefore you will receive the greater condemnation and the heavier sentence.

I’ve written before about those folks I know who have taken up permanent residence in a beautiful land called, “Denial”. Everyone who lives in Denial seems happy and content. I had someone recently ask me to make sure I always withheld information from him that may disrupt his happy life in Denial.

I wish I could live there! Reality keeps slapping me in the face and I’ve never been able to spend more than a few blissful hours in Denial. But, I confess, the time there was delightful, so I understand the draw. However, my ticket to Denial is always a round-trip ticket and I always get on the train that takes me back to reality.

Bummer….

Sometime last week, here in the Fresno area, a young woman’s body was discovered on the side of a road wrapped in a blanket. At first it was assumed that she was the victim of homicide. It was learned, however, that she had died from a drug overdose and her body had been discarded. Discarded by whom? A couple of days ago another body was found - this time it was a man found in a dumpster. Again, he died of a drug overdose and his body was put in the dumpster.

How sad! When my kids were caught up in drug addiction they believed with all their hearts that the people they were hanging out with were real friends. It was so hard for me to watch my kids dedicate so much time and emotion to people with whom they had little in common, outside of the drugs. I wonder if it was “friends” who dumped the bodies of the two young people who so tragically lost their lives to their addiction. In the days and hours prior their deaths, they were most likely hanging out, maybe watching TV or listening to music. I bet they told a few jokes, laughed with their friends, talked on the phone, or maybe bought a gallon of milk and a pack of cigarettes at 7-11. A few days before their death they may very well have been in the trusted company of people they cared about - and then they died.

What went through the minds of the people who discovered the body of their friend? Did they panic? Did they feel remorse or fear? Was it a group of people who came up with the plan to dump the body of their friend, or was it a lone person? I know from watching the effects of drugs ravage the minds of my beautiful children that when a person is using they cannot think clearly or rationally. A user sees things that are not real, feel things that cannot be felt when sober, and rationalizes where there is no logical rationale.

There were so many nights I laid awake praying that the body found in a sleazy motel room, or in a dark alley would not be that of my child. Today I am praying for the families and friends of two young people who are the latest victims of this terrible disease called addiction.

We flew out of Malawi on Wednesday, July 9, 2008 and flew first to Nairobi, Kenya. After a 12-hour layover we flew to London, then Chicago, then finally to Los Angeles. We arrived home in Fresno on Friday, July 11 at about 4:00 in the afternoon where we were greeted by a throng of family members and supporters. It was good to be home.

I wanted to share some of the general impressions and thoughts about Malawi, Africa. Malawi is called, “The Warm Heart Of Africa” because the people are very friendly and kind. That, in fact, was our experience. We were treated with so much respect and love. Wherever we went throngs of people followed us, touched us, and just simply wanted to be close to us. I pondered all the photos of Hollywood celebrities who travel to Africa and I’ve seen the photos showing the sea of people that follow the entertainment elite from place to place. Well, we are “nobodies”, but still we were treated like rock stars simply because we were Americans. It sort of put all those celeb pics in perspective!

The fresh fruit in Malawi is the BEST I’ve ever tasted, although we didn’t have it very often. The papayas are so sweet and juicy; the bananas are small, but very sweet. The avocadoes were as big as cantaloupes and amazingly delicious! No matter where we went we were surrounded by sugar cane, and we often saw people (even students in classrooms) chewing on the sweet treat. Every street, every path, every road, and every trail was littered with dried cane, and chewed up, spit out, dried up pulp.

The villagers truly seemed to support and defend one another. They worked together and were a loving example of community. I was humbled by their kindness and deep appreciation for the simplest of things. The population of one nearby village had been walking a mile and a half each way to the nearest water well, and they make that trip sometimes several times a day. They had to do this because the well in their village had been broken for a year and a half. It cost 15 American dollars, and about 30 minutes of time for our guys to repair that well! It doesn’t take much to make a real difference in these communities.

We here in America seem to often think that everyone in the world wants to be an American, or that everyone wants to live here and have what we have. That isn’t really true. The Malawians definitely struggle and they could use some help and support, but it takes SO LITTLE to improve on what they have. The appreciation runs so deep!

Everything about the trip was beautiful and fulfilling. It was only 4 short years ago that Giana was addicted to Meth, a runaway, and sleeping on the streets. I will forever be grateful for the gift of spending three weeks in Africa with my strong, confident, brave daughter. She is a living, breathing miracle and she’s the strongest person I know.

After hearing Gia’s testimony and then hearing what I went through to rescue and save Gia, one of the young women on the trip said, “Liz, you are the strongest woman I’ve ever met”. In so many ways the trip was a time of emotional healing for me. A “friend” of mine told me a few years ago that she no longer felt comfortable being my friend because I was “too weak”. For a long time I believed her. Isn’t it amazing how we believe the negative, but dismiss the positive words of encouragement spoken to us? I’ve had to walk through unimaginable trauma and grief, but I am still here. I have NOT always handled the stress well, and I’ve lost big chunks of my heart and soul, but I am still here. I’ve survived things that have destroyed many a human being and I need to trust in my strength.

I shared in one of the earlier blogs about the spiritual warfare that went on in Africa. The warfare is very subtle here in America, but it is often obvious and in your face in Africa. The team spent time before and during the trip talking openly about how Satan might attack, and John was transparent in his struggle, and in his faith. While the guys were visited by an evil physical presence, Satan’s attack on me was way less obvious. My attacks came in the way of fear, bad dreams about my children, and painful words from my past. In the quiet of the African nights, the words from my past held wild parties in my head.

On the last night in Chiwaya Village, Malawi, one of the youth leaders came to me and said, “Liz, can I talk with you?” This was a young man that I had come to like very much and we had shared a number of lovely conversations. “Sure”, I said. He sat down and told me that he had been “harboring bitterness” toward me and that I “bugged him”. He couldn’t point to any one thing I had done or said, and in fact admitted that he had enjoyed our conversations. He just didn’t really like me and felt the need to tell me and to apologize. You know, the book of Matthew tells us how to handle people who “offend” us. We are to go to them one on one and confront them. However, nowhere in the Bible are we told to confront people who “bug” us. If that was the case we would be constantly confronting people, because people bug us all the time - depending on the day and whether or not it’s “that time of the month”. The bottom line was, I saw things differently than he did and he didn’t agree with me. My feelings on issues come from my life experiences - the good and the bad. This young man is VERY young and has not faced many life struggles, so he’s still very idealistic about life and life’s challenges. That knowledge did not change the fact that I was devastated by this guy’s words and I cried all night long!

The man’s words opened for me a floodgate of painful memories. That is how Satan attacked me! He tried to rob me of the blessing of the past three weeks by haunting me with memories of the past. AAAahhhhhh!!! Several years ago when I was the director of drama ministries at a church, Pastor Doug told me that I would no longer be allowed to act in any of the dramas or plays at the church. Because I wrote and directed he believed it was “politically incorrect” and “unfair” for me to also perform. I was broken and sad, but I did respect his authority. He gave a part I had auditioned for to my friend Karin. A few weeks later Karin called me to tell me that she had had to go forward at a church service to pray specifically for her anger against me. It seems that her husband had told her that Pastor Doug was thinking about giving me the part she had eventually been given. She told her husband, “That’s not fair” and she was angry with me. In one phone call, I learned that Pastor Doug had originally considered me for a part I would have loved to play, that she was the one who had convinced him that it wouldn’t “be fair”, and that my friend Karin was angry with me. I hadn’t done one thing to hurt anyone, but in one moment I was made to feel guilty, sad, and hurt all at once. Now, several years later, in the silence of a beautiful African night, Satan brought those long ago spoken words back to haunt and hurt me. At that moment I would have gladly traded that torment for a visit from a demonic presence!

So, this is what I learned and know… God hates sin and He hates gossip and lies both about and among His people. If you defend gossip or make excuses for it, you are going against God. Being imperfect makes you human; defending sin makes you an enemy of God. If you aren’t a Christian, I’m not talking to you here. I know and love many non-Christians and I have a great deal of respect for your unabashed honesty. However, if you claim to be a Christian then God holds you to a place of high accountability. Do not defend gossip (”you can’t stop people from talking”) and do not defend sin. It is our responsibility to hold one another accountable. We do, however, need to not judge someone just because they “bug us”, but rather we need to be sure that we are addressing real sin. If God hates it, why do we defend it or make excuses for it?

I can’t wait to go back to Africa. The warm heart of Africa holds a piece of my heart. Thank you John Richardson and Northwest Church for the incredible gift of ministering beside my daughter for a few weeks during the Summer of 2008.

The last entries of the journal I kept in Africa covers the last few days of the trip. More from July 9, 2008 - written during a long lay-over at the airport in Kenya:

Sunday afternoon after our time with Marco we took some frightening public transportation to get to the top of N’Durande Mountain. I swear, shocks for vehicles must be against the law in Malawi! It was a very terrifying trek up that mountain! However, the view from the top was pretty amazing and almost worth the white-knuckle trip.

From the top of N’Durande Mountain we could plainly see just how close the buildings are to one another in the city. It really looked like one of those ant farms inside a glass box! Millions (well, 900,000) of people scampering and bumping into one another, all apparently having someplace to go or somewhere to be. From the top of the mountain you could see the entire town!

The air quality in urban areas of Malawi is terrible. That surprised me as I expected Africa’s air to be relatively untainted. But the reality is, there is very little electricity, so everywhere you go someone (or everyone) is stoking a fire where they are burning trash, cooking a meal, keeping warm, or roasting a rat. The air smells awful and I was never able to specifically identify the smells, although I suspect it was the roasting rats

On Monday we went on Safari! It took us 3 hours to get to Liwonde National Park and it was a loud and bumpy ride (as usual). John had made arrangements for a jeep to pick us up at the gate and take us into the park where we were to eat at the restaurant, then embark on the safari. Well, the jeep wasn’t there to meet us, and in fact even after John made several phone calls, it never did arrive. John was brilliant under pressure and although he is very young, he is a great leader! Our regular driver ended up driving us into the park.

The buffet at the restaurant was really great, although they ended up running out of food and because John let all of us go first, he got a few pieces of bread and that was it! Everything was so beautiful, but the staff did not handle challenges very well. We, along with all the other guests, had made reservations, so why did they run out of food? John did get a percentage of our bill deducted.

The safari was very fun. We rode in an “Indiana Jones” like jeep and got as close as we possibly could to warthogs (they are so great), elephants, monkeys, and alligators. It was a good day.

Our last day in Chiwaya was Tuesday and we prepared a “Love Feast” for our hosts. In years past, it was the villagers who had prepared the Love Feast for the team as a way of saying Thank You for the work the team had done in the village. However, John wanted us to prepare the meal this year. So, we made pasta and meat sauce, salad, fruit, and bread (the fruit is so delicious here, we just didn’t have enough of it!). It was an emotional and beautiful day. Words can’t describe the joy of being there, talking with the great people, learning to appreciate how “much” little really is, and understanding what it is to respect and share with your neighbors.

Giana is so amazing! So many people gave up on my family (specifically my kids), but again I say…You’re missing out! You are missing out on witnessing first hand a miracle and you are missing out on knowing the beautiful, strong, and amazing Miss Gia!

I’ll get back to Africa tomorrow, but now this….

The Big Fresno Fair is where one spends several hours eating deep fried anything and looking at fruit you wish you could eat. We spend too much money on must have items we won’t need five minutes from now, although the Vita-Mix I bought at another fair a few months ago is AWESOME! As if all this fun wasn’t enough, we spend half our time running into and then chatting with old friends and long unseen acquaintances, and the other half ducking people it breaks our heart to see.

And so ends another Fair season for me.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

I’m writing this from the airport in Kenya. We are almost 1/2 way through a 10-hour layover. Catherine, Josh, Derek, John, and Nic went into Kenya for a bit. Catherine lived here for six hears before Josh was born and she was exited to show him some of the country. Gia and I could have gone, but we’re both feeling really tired.

The last couple of days have been jam-packed. On Sunday afternoon - once most of the team was together, we made our way back through the “streets” of N’Durande to Marco’s church where we were treated to lunch. They served us chips and salad (french fries and coleslaw).

After lunch John went back to the bus station (more like a bus “corner”) to meet the other team members, who had spent the morning in Chiwaya Village. We were told to think of questions to ask Pastor Marco. Only Daniel and I asked questions. I don’t know if the kids were tired or disinterested. I suspect they were tired.

We asked Marco some basic questions about N’Durande and the surrounding areas. In the past ten years the town has grown from a population of 250,000 to over 900,000! It’s no wonder that when walking through the streets and between the buildings, I felt rather like toothpaste being forced from a tiny opening.

Back to the questions and answers….
Daniel and I had a tough time thinking of questions, but we managed to keep the conversation going. I asked Marco about the largest religious denominations in the area. He said the Catholic Church claimed the largest numbers, followed by Seventh-Day-Adventists, Muslim, and Mainstream Christianity. I had always heard about the large presence of SDA’s in Africa, but I saw if first hand as I saw many SDA churches and signs directing passers-bys down a path to the nearest church.

When John returned to the group with the rest of the team, the conversation with Marco turned to spiritual warfare, witchcraft, and demonic possession and deliverance, as that is the focus of Marco’s ministry.

Demonic possession is very prevalent here in Africa and Marco had some amazing stories of deliverance. Witch doctors cast spells on children, who then take the demons home to their families. Often the demons manifest themselves in very real and outrageous ways - wild movements, screaming, heavy breathing, and all manner of “The Exorcist” like activity.

I really don’t know if the kids were shocked, scared, confused, or simply didn’t know how to respond, but they didn’t have one single question on the subject. That surprised me. Back at our village digs the guys had been dealing with a lot of dark spiritual activity in their room. One night one of the guys woke up and realized that the side of his face was very, very hot. When he turned his head to look toward the heat he saw two red eyes looking at him. I’ve already written about the figure that was floating over the one of the guys while he was sleeping. The visits were almost nightly. The girls were thrilled to have been exempt from the visits! However, about two weeks into the trip, the guys would see a presence in their room and just wake up, look at it, and say, “Really? Again? Seriously, you need to go away”. So much for fear

Satan is so much subtler in America. John pointed out that Satan doesn’t want to show himself in America because people aren’t interested in fighting an enemy they can’t see. So, it benefits Satan to stay hard to define, hard to see, and subtle. I personally believe that if Satan were to prove he was real, people would HAVE to believe in the reality of God as well. That would not be good for Satan. The more atheists and agnostics there are, the better for the devil!

After our meet and greet with Pastor Marco (who was John’s roommate when he was here on his DTS), we wound our way back through the sewage and sludge to the bus corner where our ever faithful bus and driver were waiting for us. Inside the bus are several bumper stickers. One of the stickers says, “Love Bubbles Of Joy”, so that’s what we called the bus.

Wherever we go children and people follow. The people yell and point, “azoongoo”, which is slang for “white people”. We greet them by saying, “Mulebwangi” (“how are you?”), or we acknowledge their greeting by responding, “Ndillybueno, zikomo”, which means, “I am fine, thank you”. I don’t know why they giggle whenever we speak to them in their language, but they always do. They’re probably laughing at our ridiculous accents! One man asked me to be his girlfriend. Gia is very, very attractive to the Malawians and many would love to have her as their girlfriend.

The second we load the bus we are swarmed like honeysuckle in a beehive by all the street venders. They are selling everything from donuts and fried pies, to barbequed rats on a stick! No kidding! I saw a vender with about 20 skewers of cooked whole rats - maybe 5 rats to a skewer. Mmmmmm. Actually, Gia and I agree that if we weren’t concerned about disease we would want to try that delicacy!

We stopped at Shoprite on the way home. Shoprite is a lot like a super Wal-Mart - food, clothes, supplies, etc… The kids love Shoprite! Anyway, we bought ground beef and tomato sauce and pasta. Like I said earlier, they call ground beef, Minced Meat - which sounds like mincemeat, which is a combination of raisins, dates, nuts, sugar, and cinnamon. The idea of raisins mixed tomato sauce makes me smile

We got back to the camp in time to prepare dinner, clean up, have our evening service, and hit the sack.

More later…….

Monday, July 7, 2008

We spent yesterday in N’Durande. What a place! I suppose I would compare N’Durande to Chinatown in San Francisco, or what I’ve heart Harlem is. There are tons and tons of people - shoulder to shoulder, a wall of people. The houses are so close together that we literally had to turn sideways to pass between them. That was N’Durande.

Each one of the houses we saw was about the size of my family room. Some of the larger houses were the size of my family room and patio combined - but those larger homes were few and far between. The eaves of the houses were so low that Gia and I had to duck and crouch in order to move between the houses.

The pathways between the dwellings were sometimes made of brick or stone, but were mostly just hardened soil. There were clothes lines pulled tightly between the dwellings and many of the lines hung low with wet laundry.

Waste and sewage mixed with water ran like a stream between houses, making the paths more narrow and challenging. Small children played next to the sewage and sludge. The children ran after us, and followed us wherever we went. Even if they didn’t follow us, they looked at us and gave us a “thumbs up”.

The team split into three groups for the day. Four stayed in Chiwaya and ministered in Joseph’s home church and then joined up with the rest of us around 1:30. My team was at a very tiny church in the middle of the cracker box like town. There were maybe 8 adults and around 12-14 children…and 9 of us.

The worship was great - as usual. Daniel spoke and Pastor Moses interpreted. Daniel did a great job and the people were so warm and welcoming.

After the service we waited a bit for John to come get us. We were served cold Fanta and Sobo, which along with Coke are the only soda brands available around here. Gia amazed everyone with her ability to open bottles with her teeth!

When John came to get us, we wove our way through a maze of hovels, people, and sewage until we ended up at one of the pastor’s homes where we were given more Fanta and treated to television. The video the pastor put on featured a young Australian pastor who was born with no hands, arms, or legs. I’ve seen him before and he has an incredible heart and spirit. His desire to live and thrive is infectious and amazing!

Friday, July 4, 2008

It’s Independence Day! On July 4, 1992 I was in London. Today, I’m in Africa. Those are the only 2 times I haven’t been home for the July 4 festivities (oh, I suppose I was in Memphis for one July 4).

The drive here to Tiyamike was VERY long and VERY scary! The driver of our bus seemed concerned about the brakes. I don’t know if he was worried they’d give out, or if he was trying to conserve them, but on the very steep downhill slopes he down shifted into 2nd gear to keep our speed down. He kept talking to his friends (2 guys who came to keep him company) in their native language (Chichewa), and motioning to the waning signs, pointing to the curvy road ahead, and wiping his brow. Very scary!

But…we made it!

When we pulled into the orphanage, the kids ran to meet us. Several of the children called out, “Is Cole here?” Cole is a young man who made the trip two years ago and he was well loved. Two of the girls ran up to Gia and hugged her and told her how much they had missed her. Gia was crying and hugging the girls. It was incredibly sweet.

We had stopped on the way here to have peanut butter sandwiches, but Will and Pam (they run this orphanage) had lunch saved for us. They served nsima and beans - which we ate with our hands. The beans were delicious.

We spent the afternoon playing with kids and babies - bubbles and Frisbees. The guys played football (soccer) and scored 2 goals to the other team’s 4. For dinner we had nsima, Soya, and cabbage. Again, we ate with our hands, as there is not enough money to purchase utensils. The food was very good, although I’m missing fruit

I didn’t sleep well - too many voices.

It’s hot here!

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July 5, 2008

Woke up yesterday morning to find that Gia wasn’t feeling well. She “slept” on a small wicker couch and she didn’t get much sleep at all. She woke up with a sore throat and swollen glands in her neck. Luckily, Catherine has enough Cipro to go around. Burke has the same symptoms and is also taking Cipro.

So…. I stayed in with Gia for a while in the morning. It turned out that was a good thing as breakfast was apparently awful! Gia and I had peanut butter and jelly on toast. Thankfully, Gia felt better by about 9:00 and we were able to join the group. We spent the morning cleaning, loving babies, etc… For lunch - nsima and beans.

After lunch the boys played soccer and the girls made bracelets, colored pictures, and played with stickers with the younger kids and older girls. The kids were again so appreciative.

In the afternoon, after the soccer game, we walked into “town” for sodas and snacks. The “town” consists of 6 or 8 run-down buildings lining a dirty, dusty road. It seriously resembles a turn of the (last) century old west town.

After returning to the orphanage Pam asked the girls to take turns through the night caring for 2 newborns. Catherine and I had the first shift - from 8-10. The downside of that was we missed the evening program, which included a dance-off that we heard was amazing.

Catherine and I took quick showers (yes, I said showers). The water was cold, but Bangula was incredibly hot and dusty, so the cold shower was fabulous! We missed dinner, but we decided we would grab a quick PB&J sandwich. We were in a huge hurry and I nearly snapped when I walked into our room after the shower and found the girls - who had just had dinner - hovering around the bread and peanut butter, eating like scavengers. Catherine and I got no dinner, had a tough few hours ahead of us, and I just wanted to eat a quick sandwich and get to the nursery. I know it doesn’t sound like much, but at the moment it was a big deal.

I was pretty much awake all night long what with helping with the babies and then listening to the girls coming and going all night long. Even though it wasn’t my shift, I sat with Gia and Bonnie for the 2-4am shift. We laughed a lot and it was such fun watching these girls with the babies! Jeffrey was three months old and fat and charming. He smiled and “talked” and laughed virtually every moment he was awake. Charity was three weeks old and tiny and precious. She was gorgeous.

The girls are exhausted today, but the night was well spent.

We’re back now at Chiwaya Village. It’s so nice to be back where it’s cooler. The accommodations here are difficult, but so much better than Bangula. There we ate with our hands, here we have small, broken, flimsy spoons…much appreciated spoons. Here we squat over a hole, but in Bangula the outhouses are filthy and stinky and awful…and full. The weather is cooler here and we don’t have to deal with bus and mosquitoes. I got lots of bug bites down in Bangula. There the nsima was well peppered with dirt. Here we have Yohanni’s awesome clean nsima

There is a bit of drama going on now…boys picking on girls. However, it’s minor compared to what it could have been over the past couple of weeks! Tonight for dinner we are having pasta and meat sauce! Ground beef is called, “minced meat” here. Whenever Yohanni says, “minced meat”, I think Mincemeat and I think “Thanksgiving”

Thursday, July 3, 2008

We spent yesterday at the orphanage in Amalika. It was very posh compared to the other places we’ve been. They have 18 teachers for 230 students. Compare that to Zoomba School, which had 18 teachers for 2,300 students!

Gia, Josh, Brian, and I worked with the pre-school students - singing songs and telling stories. They were pretty cute! One little girl - she looked to be about 3 years old - was climbing all over Gia. She was a serious climber! At the end of the morning the pre-school teacher told us the little girl was actually the oldest in the class, at 7 years old. She was clearly developmentally and physically delayed, but oh so adorable.

I did some painting, but we spent much of the afternoon singing with the team and a few other Americans, who were working at the orphanage. The girls were especially smitten with Colton from Georgia. On the day we landed in Africa the Fresno State Bulldogs baseball team had won the college world series. The team they defeated was the Georgia State Bulldogs, so Colton was a bit defensive about the fact that we were from the city that beat his team

All in all Amalika seemed to be a place that didn’t actually NEED us in the way we’ve been needed so far. There were 2-story dorms, a large cafeteria, nice offices, computers, etc…

For lunch at the orphanage we ate peanut butter and BANANA sandwiches. That was a major treat! Last night for dinner…rice beans, cabbage, and scrambled eggs.

Today we’re heading to Tiyamike Orphanage for a couple of days. Gotta pack…